The Optimist Diaries, Pt. 1 - Healing
A series of posts designed to bring you towards optimism

7-min read
There's a lot of heavy stuff going on in the world today - it's easy to feel pessimistic about the way things are heading.
When people hear me talk about the state of the world, I may sound like a pessimist. However, deep down I am an optimist. Why? It's simple.
The truth will set you free.
The truth is ugly. But perhaps uglier is the fact we've been hiding from and denying it our entire lives. By embracing and accepting the truth, we can free up all that energy used to hide and deny, and use it to transform ourselves and the world around us. On the other side of the ugliness is lightness and joy.
Let's begin The Optimist Diaries by discussing a simple topic - healing.
Healing is the resolution of negative patterns rooted in the past. One place these negative patterns show up is in our reactions, and our reactions get triggered by stimulus or events that bear some similarity to past events that were traumatic. This past can go as far as back as being in the womb, or beyond to past lives.
I believe the boldest thing any human can do in their lifetime is to heal themselves.
Healing oneself ripples outward to one's family and community, to future as well as past generations. Healing is an infinite journey, and the only ones who don't need it have become fully enlightened, and are free of suffering. The Buddha is the only mortal I can think of who achieved this.
The Ingredients of Healing
As obvious as this sounds, the most basic ingredients for healing happen to be the two basic components of the universe - time and space.
Put yourself in a cabin in the woods away from society, with unlimited food and time, and you will eventually root out and overcome most, if not all, your negative patterns. However, this could take tens, hundreds or even thousands of years, a luxury we don't have in one lifetime! There are many people who actually live like this but don't heal themselves at all.
People living in a cabin in the woods find initial calm in the serenity of presence, but eventually the self-talk emerges from the ghosts of their pasts. They turn to dissociative activities, which take them out of the present, thereby muffling the ghosts. Many addicts are dissociated during most of their waking lives in order to avoid listening to and facing the ugly truth deep inside themselves. This ugly truth is like a dark spiritual poison which, if ignored or suppressed, eventually manifests into physical or mental dis-ease.
This is where two more important ingredients come in - presence and intention.
By eliminating dissociative activities and substances, one becomes present with themselves. Meditation allows one to make time, space and presence.
Intention is the compass that points the ship towards the soul at the centre of who we are. Creating intention can be as simple as thinking it or saying it aloud, praying. It can also be as elaborate as creating a ceremony. Ceremony is the most powerful way to create intention - the plant medicine ceremonies of indigenous peoples are living proof.
Time Is Not Linear
You know the saying time flies when you're having fun? There's a deeper truth to this. Anyone who takes psychedelics knows a trip can feel like 10 hours, when only 3 real hours pass. Or activates flow state through doing what they love. Or when you're doing something unpleasant, it seems like the clock ticks by slower and slower.
Our experience of time is correlated with how present we are.
Psychedelics forces us to become deeply present with our moment-to-moment felt-sense experience. In a deeply present state, it's as if we experience more sensory input than what we normally would over a given period of time. On the other hand, when we dissociate ourselves most of our lives, it can feel like we become old in the blink of an eye. That's because we didn't live life fully, we were constantly out of the present.
Besides psychedelics, one way to "cheat" time is to practice breathwork.
Breathwork is like presence on steroids... But without the steroids!
I achieved deep states of presence with the god-given gift of my breath, and in these states I have been able to penetrate more deeply into the layers of myself than I could simply being present or meditating. One-hour of breathwork can be as powerful as days or weeks of meditation, and years retreating in a cabin in the woods!
Breathwork, and particularly Breathwave, in my opinion is the ultimate combination of time, space, presence and intention. Since finding the practice, I do it almost every morning. I have never had more unconditional love for myself, people and society. I am also very sober these days, rarely drinking coffee or beer (or psychedelics for that matter).
Back to the Bigger Picture
By seeing and coming to terms with my inner truth, I was able to release the ugly parts of me and make space for light and joy. An equally important part of my inner process was reconciling the truth about our society. In peeling the layers towards my inner onion, I realized I am also part of a larger onion, and thus needed to peel layers outward as well.
Collectively, the outward layers are losing their firmness and peeling away on their own. We are going through a collective awakening as our society reveals its ugly truth. Major external processes like climate change, the pandemic and war are revealing how we can no longer nor ever could trust the people, governments and corporations in power.
For individuals who have been running and hiding from this truth their whole lives, my rhetoric can seem grossly pessimistic, but the moment of truth is catching up to them now. The good news is, by doing your individual healing, it is possible to face and overcome these ugly truths and come to love and acceptance, not only for yourself and your community, but also for the people, governments and corporations that are leading us in the wrong direction. This is the work that I have done that has brought me to a place of optimism!
That energy that was locked up in running and denying, was freed up so I could feel joy and lightness once again. That energy that was being dampened by drinking and screen time, is now being used for positive actions, working towards restoring community with people and nature. Once I became free of the machine, I started walking away from the machine and building the life of my dreams. And you can do it too.
And those my friends, are the words of an optimist!


